The Weekly WYR: August 27th

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

Would You Rather…

• Cry when you say bye to your dad and he tells your for the first time that you’re a man and he’s proud of you and have everyone see it, or cry because he never said it, and be all alone? From Yarmel
• Have dining hall food that makes you painfully constipated, or have dining hall food that gives you painful diarrhea? From Grimace
• The top bunk and hurt the bottom of your feet on the small rungs of that wooden ladder thing every single morning, or the bottom bunk and constantly have Dorito crumbs in the sheets because everyone sits on your bed when they watch TV? From Smiles
• Lick the floor of a shower stall and not be able to brush your teeth, or bite into the loofa of the fattest kid in your building? From GrapeBoy
• Get caught masturbating by your super religious roommate, or Get caught drinking by your super loser R.A.? From Boomerang
• Call it Beirut, or Beer Pong? From Tina
• Cheat on your girlfriend with a hot girl from down your hall and have to confess, or cheat on your girlfriend with the hot girls stubby roommate and have no one know? From Pete
• Pay 5 dollars for a cup at some lame off campus party, or get kicked out of this lame off campus party and go home alone? From Guy
• Play intramural flag football and BE THE EFFING BOMB, or let go of high school- you were never that good. From Tessa
• Spend all semester trying to ease into a conversation with that hot girl from your bio lab, or just know right now that she’s already f*cking a senior? From Kyle
• Have unlimited dining hall food, or one really, really good meal a day? From Calvin
• Have a hot female roommate, or have a roommate who dealt weed? From Tom

Finally, this week’s winner of the Worst roommate ever Award is Jimbo, who sent in this.

• Have the best roommate ever named Troy Henkins and he’s so damn cool! or Wanna hang out tonight and play pool or video games or watch a DVD or do whatever you want I don’t care? From Jimbo

Yikes, Jimbo. Hey, Jimbo’s roommate if you’re there? Transfer.

If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.