As I'm sure audiences this weekend are flocking to theaters to check out the latest spoof movie "Disaster Movie" some may be wondering where this genius of parody first originated from. This latest comedic hit comes from writers/directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. Graduating from Harvard University at the age of 12, they were the youngest students ever to recieve doctorates in quantum mechanics and economics respectivly from this Ivy league school. But their love of the cinema outweighed their passion for the study of black holes and capital goods and they soon found themselves on the road to Hollywood writing scripted parodies for the latest hit movies they had had the pleasure of viewing the trailers to. In 1978 Friedberg and Seltzer made it to Hollywood and pitched their first film to a Paramount executive. This is a page from what is thought to be the lost transcript of that pitch:

Friedberg: Okay, so we start out in a military landing strip around the Devil's Tower like in Close Encounters of the Third Kind, but the tower is actually made out of mashed potatoes.

Seltzer: Then the mothership lands in front of all the scientists and starts flashing its lights. The scientists stand there in awe of the ship as it humms a magical tune, but then a disco ball decends from the middle of the ship and the mothership starts playing the Bee-Gees!

Friedberg: The entire place turns into a roller disco club like out of Saturday Night Fever right?

Seltzer: Wait, roller disco?

Friedberg: I don't know, I only saw the trailer. Anyway, we see this funky guy dressed in Travolta's disco suit from the movie walk out of the crowd, and he turns around and…

Seltzer: It's Woody Allen!

Friedberg: Yeah that was my idea, and then Woody Allen starts disco dancing under the mothership!

Seltzer: And… sorry can I have a juice box?

Friedberg: Yeah me too, fruit punch please…

(slurping)

Seltzer: And as soon as Woody stops dancing he goes into one of his monologues where he starts talking directly to the camera when suddenly-

Friedberg: BAM! He's hit by the Mellenium Falcon from Star Wars and guess who's driving it? BURT…. FUCKING… REYNOLDS!

Seltzer: THE FUCKING BANDIT!

Friedberg: That's right!

Seltzer: And he's got Annie Hall sitting next to him-

Friedberg: Yeah and… wait no he's riding with Sally Field not Annie Hall.

Seltzer: No it's Annie Hall.

Friedberg: No that doesn't make any sense!

Seltzer: We agreed on Annie Hall this morning when we were thinking up this pitch!

Friedberg: Did not!

Seltzer: Did too!

Friedberg: Did not.

Seltzer: Did too.

Friedberg: didnotdidnotdidnotdidnot
Seltzer: didtoodidtoodidtoodidtoo
(this goes on for about five minutes)

Seltzer: Did too plus infinity plus one!

Friedberg: That is so unfair Aaron!

(cries and slurps juice box)

Seltzer: And then Annie Hall and the Bandit scream and CRASH the Falcon into the mountain of mashed potatoes!

Friedberg: And the shark from Jaws bites the pants off Jimmy Carter.

(laughter)

Seltzer: Did you just think of that?

Friedberg: Yeah, just now!

Seltzer: Genius…

Unfortunetly the studio exects at the time didn't appriciate the kind of humor offered by these juvinile minds and decided instead to go with the idea pitched by David Zucker and Jim Abrahams about some aircraft that serves bad fish on a flight. Some consider it to be Paramounts greatest mistake ever and blame it for why there is so much death and suffering in the world… those people, however, are a part of the Westboro Baptist Chuch and they think that about everything.

But that setback didn't stop Friedberg and Seltzer, these two fine young men were so intelligent that, through numerous and complex mathematical equations, they could actually predict random pop culture occurances for the next thirty years. And so at the age of 12 these two fine young filmmakers started writing scripts so incredibly funny and so far ahead of their time they actually had to wait decades before the actual movies they were spoofing could be produced. So sure were they that the movies they were spoofing would one day be released, that as a pact between the two, Friedberg and Seltzer agreed they would never re-write the original drafts they wrote for the films when they were 12. And as the years have proven, their genius has no limitation.

And so a salute to Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. You truly are kings among men.