Freshman's guide to getting through college

A Freshman’s guide to getting through college.

Show up the first day 10 minutes late. 15 if your name is at the end of the alphabet. When you hear your name make a dramatic entrance and say did some one call for a superhero. Professors love this.

After getting seated and while the professor is explaining the syllabus ask if this is going to be on the final.

After realizing that all your classes are going to be jokes and attendance is not required make it known that you will fall asleep in every class you will attend.

For the classes you do go to set your alarm to wake you up half way through the class, if people give you dirty looks, tell them you are sleeping and cant sleep while people are staring.

If you live in a dorm, invite your RA to all your party’s. They will appreciate it more that they don’t have to go looking for where it is.

Get arrested enough that campus police knows you on a first name basis this looks good next to all the “A’s” you will be getting.

After meeting your hot TA vow to go to every study session she offers even the ones on Friday night then proceed to hit on her and ask her if you can grade her homework.

After a long day of classes walk into your room at 1am knowing your roommate as an 8am class and go “Hey Buddy, whats up how was your day, wanna go smoke a cigarette with me?”