Patriots Locker Room Chat

Coach Bill Belichick discusses a new game plan with offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels after Tom Brady’s season-ending injury.

Belichick: How’s Brady look?
McDaniels: Pretty bad.
Belichick: Do we need to resort to an emergency plan?
McDaniels: We might have to.
Belichick: Is amputating his leg and replacing it with a machine gun a possibility?
McDaniels: That was a movie.
Belichick: What about that football launcher they use during practice?
McDaniels: What about it?
Belichick: Does it look anything like Brady?
McDaniels: No.
Belichick: Dammit. What about Bo Jackson, is he still around?
McDaniels: I believe so.
Belichick: Sign Bo and cut the rest of the team.
McDaniels: Um.. sir…
Belichick: Wait… who is that famous girls softball player?
McDaniels: Jennie Finch?
Belichick: Is she available?
McDaniels: I don’t think pitching translates very well in football.
Belichick: I said nothing about football.
McDaniels: I’ll look into it.
Belichick: And while your at it see if you can figure out if Brady has a son.
McDaniels: He does, but he’s only 13 months old.
Belichick: How often is he breastfed?
McDaniels: Sir… I think we should stick to using our second-string quarterback.
Belichick: Excuse me?
McDaniels: Matt Cassel.
Belichick: How ‘bout you finish up cutting those sleeves off my sweatshirts then get the hell out of my office.

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