The Morning After Prison Break: Shut Down

Last week on Prison Break: The cons wandered into an entirely different show, where there’s no prison, no one really chasing them, they have a headquarters, there’s an Asian Computer Guy, Michael has no tattoo, Dr. Sara has a head, and Bellick is not wearing purple tiger pants. Also, they need to stand next to five computer chips for ten minutes each or else Special Agent Brooklyn will get mad for some reason. This is surely a recipe for excitement.

This week: Well. Five more cards. I guess this season is going to be sorta like a Zelda game, where the cons have to collect the six pieces of Scylla in order to get to the mysterious evil building where they will face off against the final boss. Special Agent Brooklyn is pretty upset about the whole matter, and tells Michael that Team Convict has to get another chip by the end of the day. This after Michael shocked him by getting the first one within 24 hours? Prison Break logic strikes again.

Asian Computer Guy finds that his magic downloading device got all of the Company guy’s emails, and the cons put their klunky heads together to figure out that the emails have codes in them that will lead them to the next Scylla meeting. The problem? Two of the emails are gone, and they need to go to Anaheim to get ‘em back. Michael and Asian Computer Guy are able to get the emails (with an assist from Dr. Sara), and nearly die when Michael (a structural engineer) doesn’t realize that server rooms get locked down when fire alarms go off. Luckily, Lincoln does his Lincoln thing by smashing something in order to save the day.

All is not well though. Special Agent Brooklyn’s boss ain’t too pleased about how Operation Take Down The Company By Using Convicts is going and pulls the plug. The feds arrest everyone, but Michael is able to get away and make it to the evil Scylla Meeting! The conspirators talk about their new secret evil plan, and how they’re going to test it on Laos first. Then maybe Denmark. Then…anywhere they want! They then all start to wish they had mustaches to twirl. Michael manages to get this all on a video cell phone. Pretty poor security for the most evil and powerful conspiracy in the world, eh? Prison Break logic, is that you again? Special Agent Brooklyn lets Team Convict go back to their warehouse and keep trying to stand next to evil conspirators for 10 minutes apiece.

On the evil side of things, T-Bag follows Whistler’s secret locker stuff to a new apartment and sales position. He also decides to make himself look even sleazier than before with a scuzzy pedophile mustache. How many episodes until he asks someone if they want a mustache ride? 1? 2? Don’t forget people, this is the same show that showed an elderly man asking a prostitute for a Cleveland Steamer.

Black Kellerman drugs Dr. Sara’s pal into revealing her location. And Gretchen is nowhere to be seen. Which is okay by me. Oh, and Mahone’s really upset that his son is dead and Linc feels bad for him. And that is the shocking ending of this week’s episode. For shame, Prison Break.

Highlights:

-Linc grabbing the axe off of a firetruck and strolling into the super secure building without being questioned once

-Michael finally remembers that he’s the smart one

-Bellick and Sucre making for the worst dynamic duo ever