Personal Safety Tips

In self-defense classes, people always tell you not to yell “Rape” when you’re being assaulted. Instead, they suggest, yell things like “Fire!” to get people’s attention. Here are other things you can shout to get people’s attention.

- “Boobs!”
- “Jessica Alba!”
- “Hot girl-on-girl action!”
- “Pizza!”
- “Free boobs!”
- “Ice cream! Shaped like boobs!”
- “Donuts! No, wait, I’m kidding. Boobs!”
- “Rape…jokes!”

If those people are primarily women, try yelling other things, like:
- “I want to listen while you talk about your feelings!”
- “Stable relationships!”
- “That’s fascinating, I too was deeply moved by The Notebook!”