106% Issue #7

Prime Real Estate
877 E 2nd Ave
3257 N 151st Cir
5303 W 79th Terrace
200560490131 S 10888869450418352160768000001st St
-Matt Enstrom
I just left Egypt… I’ve never seen so much cameltoe in my life.
-Josh Carter
I don’t understand why people would watch porn during sex. If I waswatching a more attractive couple have better sex than me, I would bemore inclined to pull out and start masturbating.
-Daniel Eric Lopez
If you are embarrassed by verbal diarrhea, just be thankful you don’t have rectal tourettes.
-Happy Happy Happy Man
Jehovah’s Alibi’s
“Do you mind if we come into your home and tell you that we were with Jehovah on the night in question?”
-Conor McKeon
How To Tell If Your Doctor was in a Frat:
He calls your third degree burn “epic”
-Lee: Your E-Stalker
An excerpt from my unpublished MadLibs book:
(Noun) pooped all over (possessive pronoun) poop (conjuction) then (past tense verb) poop (preposition) poopy (noun).

-Matt Gorman

Politically Correct Insectologist
“Oh look, there’s a whole swarm of Homosexual Flies crawling all over my banana”
“Watch out, the wrath of an African-American Widow can be fatal.”
“The average African Hissing Penisroach can grow up to a whopping 13 inches.”
-Kevin Slane

Why the UK Should Switch to the Euro

“That’ll be 8 pounds, sir.”

“I’m sorry, how many kilograms is that again?”

-Kevin Slane

The worst thing you can say to a woman is “You sound just like your mother”, especially during sex.

-Matt Gorman

Send your rejected 105% submissions to 106percent@gmail.com and maybe they’ll get a new life!