The Hurricane Brothers

( Gustav waits anxiously as his younger brother, Ike ,walks through the door.)


Gustav: Oh hey Ike, way to be home on time. It’s not like we had plans or anything.

Ike: Would you chill out? I was out getting some doughnuts ok

Gustav: Oh good. That’s really just great. Keep filling up fatty, it’s not like you took up 80 percent of the Gulf of Mexico or anything..

Ike: …..You KNOW I have a thyroid problem!

Gustav: Oh is that it? See I thought only fatasses took 2 days to make landfall after hitting Cuba. Maybe it’s just me I don’t know.

Ike: Really Gustav? Gonna pull that card huh? At least I didn’t buckle under the pressure and fall to a Category 2 at the last minute before landfall!

Gustav: My wind was ONE  mile an hour under the cutoff! I was TOTALLY shorted on that!

Ike: Oh yeah? What about your storm surge Gustie? Huh?

Gustav:….(sigh)14 feet…..

Ike: What was that? I didn’t hear you.

Gustav: 14 feet! I said 14 feet , there are you happy!

Ike: Thats right. 14 feet! AND WHAT DID I HAVE? Why don’t you try 22 feet biatch! I rocked the Gulf coast like a what? A Hurricane , thats what! Feeling a little surge envy bro?

Gustav: Oh haha very funny! oOh great here comes grandpa….


Great Hurricane of 1900: What are you boys doin? You should be out there chasin those Typhoon girlies out there! Get out of your tropical depressions and get out there!

Gustav: We were just talking about our landfall grandpa..

GHO1900: Landfall! I’ll tell you a thing or two about landfall! Back in my day a storm knew how to be a storm, why I breezed over Galves-

Ike: We know ,you blew over Galveston Island and became the worst storm in U.S History…

GHO1900: That’s right! Why I can still remember making landfall that night, Just me and the ocean wreakin havoc on the coas-

Gustav: Oh my God, Grandpa’s raining everywhere, Ike get him back to the Old Storm’s Home before he goes Cat 1 on the carpet!

Ike: That’s more than you’ll do on your best day…

Gustav: SCREW YOU!