Jason

The Real "Rock Band" Tour Bus

Drummer: Driver, step on it!

Guitarist:
Those fans are crazy. Someone threw a brick at me…like a real live brick…

Drummer:
Enough bitching! What the hell happened to you back there Chad?

Guitarist:
Umm, I started playing poorly?

Drummer:
So you decided to just stop playing all together?

Guitarist:
Well I missed like 12 notes in a row man. It was really embarrassing.

Drummer:
Well, guess what? It was really REALLY embarrassing when I went into overdrive, covered for your lazy ass, and then you go mess up the song again…

Guitarist:
I went backstage to heat up a hotdog. I told you that! Anyways, you didn’t even give me that break to eat between gigs…

Drummer:
You are so selfish bro. We were freaking 85% done and I already did that hard solo…

Guitarist:
I’m sorry man, I just think we need a break…like maybe a month or two off? I don’t think I can handle this many shows a day.

Drummer:
What was that?

Guitarist:
We’ve done over eighty gigs! In twelve hours! In nine countries! It is exhausting!

Drummer:
Oh, so that makes it alright just to abandon a gig in front of 40,000 screaming fans?

Guitarist:
You’re right, it’s not alright, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am sick and tired of playing covers of Lit’s My Own Worst Enemy. That song wasn’t even that good.

Drummer:
Chad, you are so clueless that it makes me sick.

Guitarist:
…I want to be the drummer…

Drummer:
I’m the drummer. I’ve always been the drummer. I’ll always be the drummer. Plus, it would be unprofessional to just switch now.

Guitarist:
Gay…

Drummer:
Whatever man. Maybe I should just get another guitarist. I heard Andy isn’t doing anything. Should I call Andy?

Guitarist:
Maybe you should…Medium.

Drummer:
What did you say?

Guitarist:
I don’t know what I said…Medium.

Drummer:
Oh that’s it! You’re out!

Guitarist:
Medium!

Drummer:
QUIT IT!

Guitarist:
Medium!

Drummer:
Red button! Red button! Red button!

Guitarist:
Oh Mediumer, there’s no going back…

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