The Real "Rock Band" Tour Bus

Drummer: Driver, step on it!

Guitarist: Those fans are crazy. Someone threw a brick at me…like a real live brick…

Drummer: Enough bitching! What the hell happened to you back there Chad?

Guitarist: Umm, I started playing poorly?

Drummer: So you decided to just stop playing all together?

Guitarist: Well I missed like 12 notes in a row man. It was really embarrassing.

Drummer: Well, guess what? It was really REALLY embarrassing when I went into overdrive, covered for your lazy ass, and then you go mess up the song again…

Guitarist: I went backstage to heat up a hotdog. I told you that! Anyways, you didn’t even give me that break to eat between gigs…

Drummer: You are so selfish bro. We were freaking 85% done and I already did that hard solo…

Guitarist: I’m sorry man, I just think we need a break…like maybe a month or two off? I don’t think I can handle this many shows a day.

Drummer: What was that?

Guitarist: We’ve done over eighty gigs! In twelve hours! In nine countries! It is exhausting!

Drummer: Oh, so that makes it alright just to abandon a gig in front of 40,000 screaming fans?

Guitarist: You’re right, it’s not alright, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am sick and tired of playing covers of Lit’s My Own Worst Enemy. That song wasn’t even that good.

Drummer: Chad, you are so clueless that it makes me sick.

Guitarist: …I want to be the drummer…

Drummer: I’m the drummer. I’ve always been the drummer. I’ll always be the drummer. Plus, it would be unprofessional to just switch now.

Guitarist: Gay…

Drummer: Whatever man. Maybe I should just get another guitarist. I heard Andy isn’t doing anything. Should I call Andy?

Guitarist: Maybe you should…Medium.

Drummer: What did you say?

Guitarist: I don’t know what I said…Medium.

Drummer: Oh that’s it! You’re out!

Guitarist: Medium!

Drummer: QUIT IT!

Guitarist: Medium!

Drummer: Red button! Red button! Red button!

Guitarist: Oh Mediumer, there’s no going back…