One wint'ry night not long ago

I sat inside my home,

partaking in a noble sport

the art of drinking alone.

 

I started out a happy soul,

no harm did I intend.

I was firmly in control,

I knew just when to end.

 

That firm grasp soon went out the door,

my mind was out of touch.

My good friend then became the floor,

I had drank way too much.

 

Vodka, Rum Punch, Everclear,

The choicest Natty Ice,

I screamed for the whole world to hear,

"IM GETTING CRUNK TONIGHT!"

 

Then came to pass my drunken dials,

the first calls went to girls.

I can't imagine they had smiles,

after hearing "YOUR'E THE HOTTEST IN THE WORLD!"

 

After that shameless episode,

texts then did I send.

A simple message to my bro's,

"Do0d ur my9 beskt friebnd!"

 

Ran out into the night did I,

I then screamed exultations!

Then came the form of my demise,

My public urination.

 

I then returned to my quaint home,

and bed down for the night,

Amongst the cans that I drank from,

It must've been quite a sight.

 

So ends my tale of revelry,

it pains me so to end.

Next time I'll drink more sparingly,

and hopefully, with a friend.