Interview With God

Host: So we’re here with God. First off let me just say thanks for joining us today!

God: Well, it’s my pleasure but it’s not really that big of a deal. I’m everywhere so I would have been here anyway.

Host: Well it sure means a lot that you would take time out of your busy schedule just to come talk with us.

God: No, see that’s the thing. I’m God so I can do everything and be everywhere at the same time in every time… It literally requires zero effort for me to be here right now.

Host: But I’m sure you have more important things you could be doing than hanging out on a talk show! Hahaha!

God: I’m not sure you understand how I work. Everything that is happening right now, anywhere, I am doing. Everything. So… I’m glad to be here, but I’m always here, no matter where here is.

Host: Whoa, hey, what are you some kind of stalker or something? hahaha..

God: No. That’s… I’m just…. I’m everywhere, all the time. Look, don’t worry about it, your brain can’t actually understand it so let’s just move on.

Host: Okay, great! So what have you been up to lately?

God: Well… just the same ole stuff I guess… I’ve been “up to” everything…I’m not really sure how to answer that to be honest.

Host: Well did you have a good summer? Did you go anywhere?

God: sighs Umm, this isn’t really working. I don’t usually do this, but I’m just gonna insert the concept of “omnipresence” into your brain.

Host: Wow. I get it now.

God: I know.

Host: No, it’s just so amazing. I can’t believe I didn’t get this. You’re everywhere! I mean EVERYWHERE!

God: Yeah, I know. I came up with the idea.

Host: No, seriously. This is just incredible!

God: Okay, I’m taking it back.

Host: What were we talking about?

God: You were about to break for a commercial.

Host: Oh yeah, and we’ll be right back with God! Stay tuned!