Jake Hurwitz

The Weekly WYR: October 23rd

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

Would You Rather…

  • Find a genie lamp inhabited by Robin Williams, or find a genie lamp inhabited by Shaq? From Ben
  • Have make up sex, or break up sex? From Marc
  • Know how many times you have masturbated in your life, or know how much time you have spent masturbating in your life? From Daniel
  • Live in your mom’s house with, like, 5 hot chicks or live alone in the sweetest mansion EVER!? From Alex
  • Your candidate win on November 4th, or receive a wet handjob from some random girl? From J
  • Graduate from school without debt, or be unbeatable at Golden Eye? From Jason
  • Spend every waking hour of your life working to find a cure for cancer, or spend every waking hour of your life masturbating for the same salary? From Evan
  • Be nerdy enough to know that Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie is a girl, or not know and post online that it is some kind of mystery even though the game states her gender several times? From Allen

Finally, this week’s winner of the Okay… Award is Spankk, who sent in this.

  • Be lame and work for CollegeHumor the rest of your life or get a real job and do something with your life? From Spankk

Do something, like, more productive than submitting to a small recurring column on a website you don’t respect? Something like that?

If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.

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You Stink

At about 10pm, my roommate and I were in our normal habit of watching Adult Swim and playing random video games when all of a sudden we get a knock at our door. I go to open it and suddenly 2 guys burst in, with ninja wraps on their head, spray a lot of febreeze all over our stuff and run out leaving a note that says "You stink!". I was hurt until 5 minutes later... Read More » when a very apologetic ninja showed up and said that they got the wrong room. I don't know what I was hurt more over. Being called smelly or not being invited for revenge on the smelly Asian smokers next door.