Issue #83

Reading this while smoking may cause lung disease.

Bipolar movie review

"I laughed! I cried! Then I went and saw the movie!"

-Patrick Cassels

My father had a huge heart. The doctors think that's why it exploded out of his chest.

-Ben And Adam

I decided to keep a running diary during my sophomore year of college, but I got hit by a car pretty soon after I started. So I decided to keep a sitting in my room by myself diary. Then I got hit by another car, so I just stopped keeping diaries altogether.

-Conor McKeon

Even though both of my parents are dead, no one really calls me an orphan. They usually call me a murderer.

-Gabe L

How come every man who "advertises" himself in the bathroom stall has a "10 inch hard c*ck?" If I had HALF that much, I'm sure I would have NO problems getting laid!

-Dave Theriot

I hate when the T.V. tells me to go see High School Musical 3 Senior Year, because frankly, I just don't think I can wait that long.

-Blake Stuck

Do you think hookers go as moderately clothed college girls for Halloween?

-Tanner Boyd