Pop Culture CliffsNotes: Oct 31

Oh my god it’s Halloween. Halloween, people! The most wonderful time of the year, or something. How does this relate to Celebrity Now, you ask? First of all, stop talking to your computer. Second of all, because you’re not the only ones wearing ridiculous outfits today. Hollywood is doing Halloween (Hollyween?) up right.

Katy Perry as Freddie Mercury (WWTDD)

Gwen Stefani as an egg (IDLYITW)

Rachel Bilson as herself, basically (Hollywood Tuna)

Deryck Whibley as The Nurse Joker (it starts) (WWTDD)

Coco and Ice-T as the personification of class (DListed)

And Cindy Crawford dressed as Amy Winehouse for Halloween, which seems awkward to me. One celebrity dressing up as another celebrity when the two aren’t friends? It’s like dressing as a random guy from your IT department. And that guy’s a huge drug addict. (IDLYITW)

Amy Poehler and Will Arnett had their baby! They named it ‘Archie Arnett,’ sealing the kid’s fate once and for all of never being as funny as he’s supposed to be. (DListed)

A fan of Michael Phelps? Have a pool? Like wasting money? Then boy do I have an idea for you. For only $100,000, Michael Phelps will come to your pool party and swim a few laps. And if you’re really feeling crazy, for an extra $2 everyone else from the Olympics will come too. (DListed)

Rumors are flying that Brad Pitt may be cozying up with his new co-star Diane Kruger, and Angelina isn’t happy. And who can blame her – we all know what happened last time Brad fell for a co-star while dating another woman. A ton of kids got adopted, that’s what. And no one wants that. (Celebslam)

One of the new 90210 girls hit the carpet earlier this week in…I’m not sure, does that count as a dress? It looks like she poured glue on herself and rolled around in the scrap bin of a fabric store. Good thing none of you are actually looking at the dress parts. (Hollywood Tuna)

Week after week you guys ask for more T&A in this column. Well get ready, because this week Gisele has arrived to grant all your wishes. Well, all the sexual ones. She has no control over whether or not your landlord will let you replace your stairs with a water slide. (WWTDD)

And because I love you, here’s a clip of some actress named Danneel Harris taking a trip to Bonetown, USA in some movie called ‘Ten Inch Hero.’ Based on this clip, I don’t think the title refers to pastrami on rye. Or DOES IT!? (Egotastic)

Hayden Panettiere went on a talk show this week and flashed her panties. Except instead of panties she was wearing men’s boxers and it was apparently on a dare. From the lamest game of Truth or Dare ever. (Egotastic)

Great news! Jessica Simpson currenly has the #1 movie in Russia. In unrelated news, varnish has now surpassed vodka as the most popular drink in Russia. (Celebslam)

Joaquin Phoenix announced this week that he will no longer be making movies. It was either that or lose weight, and MAN Joaquin hates the gym. Too much spandex! (IDLYITW)

News broke this week of a ‘sex contract‘ Madonna forced Guy Ritchie to abide by during the last few years of their marriage. Aside from requiring a certain number of sessions a week, salami time also had to be scheduled around Madonna’s workout regime. Because nothing turns a guy on more than boner regulation. (WWTDD)

HBO’s new vampire show True Blood isn’t doing too well, which is bad news for them, and GREAT news for you. Why great? Because everybody knows that there’s only one thing left to do when a show is sinking – add nudity. (Egotastic)

Joe the Plumber has recognized his golden opportunity and seized it by the balls. The Plumber’s ‘people’ are getting the word out that Joe has aspirations to be a country singer. His single ‘You Will Never Ever Ever Hear This Song’ is currently being recorded. (DListed)

And last but not least, this week’s Still Got It. While I was tempted to name the fashion retards in this picture a winner this week, they were beat out by the human hurricane that is Mickey Rourke. Nice pink panties, Mickey. You still got it. (IDLYITW, Celebslam)