Pie

It’s hard to imagine that “Smokejumpers” was supposed to be a character piece. Originally, the firefighters never fight an actual fire. Now they’ve got an entire army battling an exploding mountain. It’d be like if the script to “The Astronaut Farmer” got turned into “Armageddon.” Now if only “Smokejumpers” could get Steve Buscemi….

The first day on set didn’t go so well for Vince. His co-star, Jason Patric, appears to be stealing his lines and the director doesn’t care. Vince can’t talk to him about it either, since he’s a 5th degree black belt and somewhat of a maniac. But just when you think Vince is going to be a pushover, Patric makes a fatal mistake — he steals pie from Turtle. This prompts an argument that reveals Vince’s lines hadn’t been stolen at all, but given to Patric by the director. This is why I never pilfer baked goods. It always ends with me revealing some shocking revelation and I’d just rather not deal with it.

Meanwhile, Ari is meeting with his old friend Andrew Klein who needs to borrow half a mill. Klein’s down on his luck because of the strike, but other than that runs a modestly successful business representing TV writers. Instead of giving him the loan, Ari is determined to bring Klein back to power agent status. He offers to buy his company, to which Klein reluctantly agrees. But as much as Ari is excited about getting the band back together, Klein seems too washed up to make anything of himself. I’m preparing for an emotional break-up episode where Ari’s forced to fire him.

Drama had a strong showing this week. It’s pretty exciting since he hasn’t really stood out in recent episodes. That’s why the highlights section is going to be dedicated entirely to him. So let’s reflect on some great Drama moments….

- Waking up everyone up by banging pots and pans, then flipping Turtle’s mattress when he doesn’t get up instantly.
- Pooping in Jason Patric’s trailer and leaving a barbecue sauce handprint on his back.
- When talking about method acting, “That’s what inspired me to do real coke.”
- “He’s German, don’t trust him.”