Take a drink:
- If a state turns red, scornfully take two if it turns blue
- For every 20 electoral votes McCain gets
- Every time someone mentions Obama’s middle name
Take a shot
- If McCain wins your own state, two if you’re from Florida or Ohio
- Every time McCain wins 10% more of the popular vote
Chug a Beer:
- If anyone references Joe the Plumber or Joe Sixpack
- Everytime someone says “the world is ending”
Drink everything in the house, alcoholic or otherwise
- If McCain wins New York
If McCain is winning,
- Drink if you catch someone on FOX news with a boner. More if it’s a woman
Enjoy a fine mint julep:
- If the winner of the popular vote doesn’t win the general election
Switching Party Affiliations?
The True Meaning of Christmas, According to Christmas Movies
15 Phrases You'll Hear During Finals Week, and What They Really Mean
The 8 Relatives You'll Talk to at Thanksgiving
News Feed History of the World: January 2012
The 8 Stages of Staying Up All Night
How Creepy You Are, as Determined by Your Pets
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
