Gawd, Everyone In This Computer Lab Is A Loser

Dude, this is the lamest computer lab in the history of computer labs. I can’t believe I’m actually in the same room as these losers.

I mean, check out Mr. “Grade-A douche” to the right to me. Is this guy serious? I bet if I poured steaming hot coffee on his keyboard, then on his face, nobody would care. Actually, they might care about the keyboard. You know what? I won’t pour coffee on the keyboard, but definitely table the face idea for later.

And look at “Little Miss Paper-Writer” a few computers down. 5 bucks says she gets an F. And if not… look at Smartypants McGee, getting good grades, like it’s hard.

Hey, nice clothes, “Guy walking to the printer.” Great polo shirt. You off to a polo match or something? Probably not. I’m wearing my polo shirt so much better than you right now, it’s not even funny. Call me sometime, I’ll give you lessons on how to rock a polo. Wait, don’t ever call me, I don’t talk to fags. Actually, those jeans aren’t bad.

Thanks a lot, “Guy who won’t stop coughing.” I really appreciate the way your expelling all those germs into my airspace. I’m sure health services won’t mind hearing about this. Thanks for falling directly onto my backpack, too, seeing as I was going to take it out from the middle of the aisle in like less than 3 minutes.

Well well, aren’t we special, “Mrs. Computer Lab employee”? Hey, I have a computer-related question that you might be able to answer…. um, hey, why are you so awful at life? Oh, I guess that wasn’t computer-related. Thanks for not answering my question, though. You’ve been a real help. Bitch.

For Chrissakes “Girl on the phone”, get off the damn phone. Nobody wants to watch you text message your “boyfriend”, who probably doesn’t even exist. You’re so lucky I’m on the phone with my Mom right now or I’d verbally rip you to shreds.

Well hello there, “Girl who just sat down next to me.” Nope, no one is sitting here, except you! ha. No, I’m not sure why there are a bunch of books next to that computer, and I honestly couldn’t tell you whose jacket that is. Soooo hot, I wonder what she’s doing toni— Goddamnit coffee guy! Get your shit out of here and leave us alone! I swear to God, I will douse you in Folger’s Crystals!

Gawd, I can’t wait to go back to my room and use my laptop. Seriously, a 30 minute porn should not take this long to download. Oh, hey there “Captain Paramedic.” Way to finally get “Guy who won’t stop coughing” off my damn backpack. And it only took you like 10 minutes, well done. Jerk.