Your body's visit to the doctor

Tongue: Agaggbalhgagggh…

Esophagus: What the hell is going on?

Tongue: …blaghgasghghgh

Larynx: Dude! Wtf?

Tongue: Sorry guys. Mouth opened up and all of a sudden I was getting smothered by some gross piece of wood. I feel violated.

Brain: Don’t get depressed, Tongue. I care about you guys, so we’re having a quick checkup at the doctor’s office today.

Balls: OKAY, we’re freaking’ out of here. We’re not about to get bounced around like two chicken eggs getting the okay from a USDA inspector.

Penis: I want nothing to do with this. I don’t trust myself in these situations.

Brain: Don’t worry. I have a mental image of Rosie O’Donnell doing squats all lined up. You’ll be fine. Heart, you there?

Heart: Lub dub. Lub dub.

Brain: Good. No funny business, okay? Just act normal. Skin, I knew that stethoscope is freezing, but just deal with it.

Heart: Lub dub.

Brain: Thanks. This is important.

Heart: Lub dub. Lub dub. Lub dub. KISS MY ASS YES WE CAN OBAMA 08! Lub dub.

Brain: Dammit! Doc is going to think you have an arrhythmia. Straighten up!

Heart: Fine. Lame. Lub dub. Lub dub.

Knees: I just want to apologize in advance for anything I might do. One tap from that little brown hammer and it’s like I turn into a different person.

Elbows: That’s weak sauce. Grow a pair, knees. I don’t go off like some loose cannon just because someone taps me.

Knees: I can’t control it! I think I have a problem…OH GOD, there I go. I’m trying so hard to hold still. OH!

Elbows: Hold it together, you puss…WHOA…something’s tapping me now. I can’t stop moving! There I go again!

Knees: So this is what it feels like when doves cry. One day we’ll have this monkey off our back.

Penis: Alright, Balls. We’re probably next. Now you give your name, rank and serial number, but nothing else, okay! Don’t let them see you sweat. Brain, you got that Rosie O’Donnell image all lined up?

Brain: Yep, with a backup image of Barbara and George Bush Sr making love in case that doesn’t cut it.

Penis: Jesus. Yeah, that should help.

Balls: Hang in there, buddy. Don’t let them get you riled up. That’s probably what they want anyway. Hey you know? This isn’t bad. A little clammy, but overall I’ve had wors…WHOA! Ouch! They got me in some kind of choke hold!

Lungs: Cough, cough.

Balls: Ahhhh! He squeezes harder when you do that! Help!!!!

Lungs: Cough, cough.

Brain: Hey everyone, we need you to roll over. You’re all doing great.

Sphincter: Intruder alert! Intruder alert! We have a bogie at 6 o’clock, looks like a gloved finger trying to enter the system. Initiating emergency airlock sealing procedures…

Brain: I’m going to half to override that. They’ve got clearance.

Sphincter: What? We’re just going to let them march on in and look around? They’re heading right for the prostate!

Prostate: Oh no! What do I do? I don’t think that….I’maYankeeDoodleDandyAYankeeDoodledoordieareallivenephewofmyUncleSam
BornontheFourthofJuly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Balls: What the hell was that? You just burst into song!

Prostate: I have no idea! No one’s ever done that to me before.

Brain: Sorry about that. Sphincter, please return to normal security procedures.

Balls: Can we get out of here?

Penis: Seriously.

Mouth: I don’t know what you all are bitching about. I got a lollipop out of the whole deal.

Heart: Lub dub. Stub hub. Tub rub. Bud mud.

Brain: Stop it!