Conrad

Things I Have Always Wondered About Fruit, But Have Never Found Answers To

1. If a tomato is a fruit, why does it not taste like one?

2. Why is the word fruit used to call someone gay?

3. How do worms get all the way up a tree and into an apple?

4. How does one properly describe the taste of apples?

5. If my mom loves me, why does she always force me to eat apples?

6. she knows why I don’t like apples…

7. …so what if apples remind me of my dad…

8. Physical bruises heal, emotional ones don’t.

9. DAD STOP IT! PLEASE PLEASE STOP!

10. NOT THE APPLE SUIT NO PLEASE!

11. I DON’T WANT TO DO THE APPLESAUCE DANCE AGAIN!!!

12. …sauce…sauce…sauce…I’m apple sauce…

13. How did star fruit end up being shaped like a star?
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I work as an it-wizzard (according to the it-illeterate) at a big company. Some day I was reading about left-turning barteria on a carton of yogurt. That moment my boss walked in and asked me if it was possible to get information out of an specific database. It was one of those days that I had all the work I could handle so I answered: No, thats not possible because we only... Read More » have right-turning disks in the server where the database was. He looked at me, a little insecure, siad "oh, ok" and walked off. It still puts a smile on my face.