Staff Picks

Jake Hurwitz

The Weekly WYR: November 19th

by Jake Hurwitz on

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

Would You Rather…

  • Only be able to move by moonwalking, or only be able to move by C-walking? From Beepus
  • Get caught reading fan-fiction, or Get caught writing fan-fiction? From Joel
  • Fight a normal bear, or fight a robot bear that’s trained to kill you, but you get to have a gun? From Gil
  • Have Obama be president, or still have Heath Ledger alive to reprise his role as the Joker in the next Batman film? From Zack
  • Summon cheese anytime into your hand, or ripen fruit just by touching it? From matteo
  • Become a Pokemon trainer, or be admitted to Hogwarts? From Carr

Finally, this week’s winner of the I Read Them All Award is Corey, who sent in this.

  • Do you purposely skip and not publish my WYRs or do you not read all of them? From Corey

Every single one. FYI people “Watch a porno with your parents or starring your parents” is never going to be put on here.

If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.

See More Popular Articles
Like this Article
URL Close
Jake Hurwitz

Jake Hurwitz

View Profile
Recent Articles
More
uPick
I Fought the Law Run-ins with the cops See All »
Up +51 Down
Search and Siezure

When I was 16, I was walking home one night from my girlfriend's (at the time) like any other night. Now, as a teen, I had a shaved head, but that's as far as it goes for me looking like "a bad ass". I was super straight edge. I got to the corner across the street from my apartment, and I was waiting patiently at the light to cross, when all of a sudden I hear the... Read More » wailers and see flashing lights coming in my direction. Two cops get out of their car, tell me to come over and proceed to start hassling me. Given where I lived (tantamount to gang territory) and the fact that I was a teen out past 11PM, this was annoying, but not a huge surprise. The first question they asked me was "where am I going?" I said home. They asked where home is, and I could point to my window from where I was standing. That wasn't good enough. They decided they were going to demand that I "empty my pockets on the hood of the car". I refused, at which point they accused me of having something to hide. But what they didn't know was that I was taking classes in Canadian law at my high school, and had already covered the section on statutes on search and seizure and probable cause. So I told them flat out: "Give me your badge number, and I'll empty my pockets. And, when you find nothing there, I'll be down at your station tomorrow with a lawyer and I won't leave until I have your job because I gave you no probable cause to stop me, let alone undergo a search and seizure of my personal belongings. And if you don't like it, fuck off". Needless to say, they got back in their car and told me to go home. And I did, smiling.