Excerpts From My Grandfather's Autobiography That Lead Me To Believe He Might Not Have Been As Tolerant of Other Races as He Has Let On

“It was not long after Thanksgiving that I started getting terrible and constant headaches. My wife suggested that I go to the hospital and get checked out. ‘Better safe than sorry,’ she always cautioned. After a series of CAT scans and MRIs Dr. Rabinowitz, a Jew, broke the devastating news: Cancer.”

“The winter of ’67 was especially trying for my family. The mill closed that November so I was out of work again. Also, the Chinaman who was supposed to fix our furnace didn’t do a good job. Not that I was expecting him to.”

“I had finally managed to scrape together enough money for an engagement ring. I had to hock my beloved guitar in order to do so but seeing the look on Grace’s face when I popped the question, I briefly forgot she was half Italian. It was beautiful.”

“Her first weekend home from college, my daughter introduced us to her new boyfriend, Jamal. Terrific, I thought to myself, I guess we can kiss our VCR goodbye.”

“On his seventh birthday Eldon, my youngest son, received a badminton set from a schoolmate of his. We had hardly finished dessert when a wayward shuttlecock caused him to put his racket through our sliding glass door. He was always such a clumsy cracker.”