"Writing a Ten Page Paper in One Day: The Process" by Conrad

1:00 pm: Ok let's get started on this paper. You put it off for a long time and now you're paying for it. Shouldn't be too difficult though, a little research, a little type-type. You'll be done in no time.

1:20 pm: FUCK THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! WHAT WAS I THINKING?! GOD DAMMIT.

1:30 pm: Ok, dry your tears off little cowboy. Just get back on that horse and ride.

2:00 pm: One page completed but more research required: Wikipedia! I choose you! Alright let's see here…Leonardo DaVinci's notebooks contained sketches of fantastic ideas way ahead of his time. Including designs for a helicopter, pulley crane and an armored Tank click….The armored tank is a military vehicle that has been put to effective use in many battles including the allied attack on the Beaches of Normandy click…The beaches of Normandy feature extensive white sand beaches…..

3:00 pm: click…Micro Machines are not recommended for children under 5 because their small size allows them to possibly become lodged in a young childs' throat…

4:30 pm: Ok you've now successfully researched everything from the uses of vampire's blood to early celtic nursery rhymes, unfortunately none of these have any bearing on your paper. Why should I have to write a SUPER LONG paper on one subject?! It's important to be well rounded right..right?! Fuck.

5:00 pm: 3 pages written, time for a stress reliever:

6:00 pm: Well time for dinner I guess. BRAIN FOOD NOM NOM! Well it comes to either ramen or cookie crisp. Gotta get me some of dat cookie crisp fo sho, fo sho…how do they get all those vitamins and minerals in a cookie?! Gotta remember to wikipedia that.

7:00 pm: Back to work, work, work, that's all I do around here! College blows for sure.

7:30 pm: Haha, I just delivered some epic comment pwnage on that youtube noob. How can he say that starcraft is the best computer game of all time?! Has he even ever played the Sims: Unleashed!?

9:00 pm: FUCK THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! WHAT WAS I THINKING?! GOD DAMMIT!

10:00 pm: 6 pages written: Haha, I'm over the hill! Now all I gotta do is just slide on down to the bottom. I'm gonna get SO drunk when this is done. I should call some girls over and have them read my paper…You know how those hoes love prose! HAHA! I should incorporate that in my paper, nothing wrong with being smart AND clever.

12:00 am: words….words…words…just anything…type anything…ahhhhhhhhh

12:30-2:00 am: The Sims: Unleashed

2:30 am: It's Done, IT IS DONE!!! Only one and a half pages short of the assignment, but what I have is genius. Time to celebrate!

2:31 am: