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Timmy makes a poop

by Barker on December 20, 2008

I work at a summer camp and of course since hundreds of ridiculous children come to it every summer there is always bound to be some crazy shit going down. It may be a little unknown fact but children are quite possible the most hilarious people that inhabit this planet without them even knowing this fact.

“o one day after the camps general swim we were walking back to the cabins and 20 feet away from them the smell blew into your�ostrils. This was not just any terrible smell, this was some hard core shit. A mix between rancid ham and what your grandmothers vagina would smell like after a week without a sponge bath. This was bad news, and once we entered the cabin my co-counselor�mmediately�eaded for the forest and puked his�elicious�eatloaf he had for lunch. This was quite the experience-the mix between vomit and feces, what a blast! Little did i know this party had only just begun. Once the children saw my co-counselor throw up and with the sweet smelling smell of rancid, it created a chain reaction of my campers puking up their meatloaf. It was seriously like dominos but with projectile vomit involved. It was a massacre. Oh but this was not the best part, WE COULD NOT FIND THE SHIT! The little snot crapped in the cabin and hid it somewhere, now this may seem impossible, trust me I know, but somehow he managed to do it. So imagine this: Step 1. This kid SHITS in the cabin. Step 2. He picks up the shit with his bare hands to get rid of the evidence. Step 3. He hides it in the cabin thinking thats better than throwing it in the forest. Hmmm…This kids going to be the next…instein or at least fucking Tom Clancy with his amazingly new acquired hiding skills. So the vomit smell faded but the shit remain, we dealt with the shit smell for a fucking WEEK AND A HALF! It drove me to the thought of punching a baby in the face. Then rolls around the last day of camp, this kid named “Tommy” came up to me with this potato looking thing wrapped in duck tape, it was his nasty rancid shit. He tapped duck tape around it and tapped it to the wall of his suit case in a secret compartment. He thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world, I’m just not surprised he was not laughing when the Camp Director banned him from our camp for the rest of his life. In the end, I suppose, the mighty wrath of Karma kicks the little bastards right in the pooper.

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