February 10, 2000
Word on the street has it that Mt. Moon is being mined for so-called "moon stones." That explains the recent scourge of trainers in the area. Hopefully they leave soon.
August 25, 2000
My freedom was jeopardized today by a ruthless trainer. I was frolicking adorably in the tall grass, minding my own business, when this oaf of a trainer trips right over me. No "pardon me," no apology, nothing. I was perfectly content to carry on with my business, but the antagonistic son of a bitch sent out a captive Pidgey to attack me. Looking at the Pidgey, I could see that it had already been brainwashed by its master it showed no fear. It took every ounce of crooning I had to lull it to sleep. The trainer didn't push his luck after my impressive performance, and fled from the battle. A close call, to say the least.
September 14, 2000
It's been over seven months now and there's no end in sight. Every day it seems more and more trainers are arriving, searching for the elusive moon stones. Earlier today I saw six enslaved Geodudes mining the cavern for moon stones, to no avail. They appeared to be in rough shape. I've been hearing horrific, miserable noises coming from the caves on a nightly basis; noises wretched enough to curdle a man's blood. Luckily, I'm a Jigglypuff and not a man. Nonetheless, the latest incidents have caused me to rethink living in Sierra PokéLeone.
October 6, 2000
It is a grim day, Diary. I write this entry from appallingly cramped quarters, for I have been taken prisoner by a Pokémon trainer. He snuck up on me while I was napping in the foothills of Mt. Moon. I had assumed the raw cuteness of such a sight would cause approaching Pokémon to devolve into more endearing forms and piss rainbows. Alas, I was mistaken. By the time I had awoken, the boy already had a Pikachu at his side ready to battle. The yellow rat just oozed "douchebag," from its spiked tail to its urine-hued fur, and the rodent wasted no time zapping me into paralysis. All I could do was watch as the trainer tossed a Poké Ball at my helpless, marshmallowey body. And now, here I am, confined to a 5-inch diameter sphere. I feel so, so alone.
October 31, 2000
Halloween was absolutely gastly! But seriously, pun aside, it sucked major balls.
November 5, 2000
I suppose one positive of my indefinite solitary confinement without food or water is that it gives me time to work on some new songs. I'm thinking about taking my sound in a different direction; pretty much everyone says it's way too high-pitched and girly. The acoustics in here are, unsurprisingly, terrible.
November 14, 2000
The trainer took us to something called a "Poké Center" this afternoon. For 15 seconds, I was free to mingle with my fellow prisoners. There's a Bulbasaur, a Spearow, and two Zubats in addition to the electric sewer rat. I wasn't able to talk with them for long, but I ascertained that the trainer's name was "TIMMY" and that the Zubats were nicknamed "DRACULA" and "MEWFIVE." In any case, it was encouraging to finally get outside that cursed Poké Ball, however brief my freedom.
PS: I noticed that the Pikachu is never transported in a Poké Ball. What a spoiled, insufferable cunt.
December 11, 2000
For some reason TIMMY refuses to send me out to battle. I'm not complaining, though I just put the final touches on my EP, Jiggle Dat Booty, Puff Dat Blunt. The acoustics suffered a bit but I'm really pleased with the finished product. Wish there was someone I could sing it to, though.
December 25, 2000
Merry fucking Christmas.
January 30, 2001
It looks like this is the end, Diary. We visited another Poké Center, but this time the trainer left me in some sort of storage database. I'm finally out of the Poké Ball, but flash memory has proven to be markedly more uncomfortable. A Rattata whom I spoke with confirmed my darkest fears: Those who enter Bill's PC rarely leave. My adorable pink heart yearns for the grassy foothills of Mt. Moon. Now, all I can do is reserve hope of another Mt. Moon, in Poké Heaven.
January 2, 2008
Super Smash, bitches! Revenge is oh so sweet.