Know Your Douche Bags

Hair – dreaded or simply unwashed
Clothes – made of hemp
Accessories – A bong that costs more than all of your text books

Accessories – Clip board filled with possibly fraudulent voter registrations. Mickey Mouse voted Obama.
Catch phrase – “Would you like to…” You will never hear the rest, because you’re going to class… and you hate them.

Metro Douche: Quasius Homosexualus

Clothes – Way trendier than yours.
Accessories – Way more expensive than yours.
catch phrase – “Oh my god! That guy was totally hitting on me! It’s because I dress so well.“ 

Emo Douche: Pulsicus Cortarus

Accessories – Shitty poetry
Clothing -Black. Like their souls.
Make up – Black. Like their hearts.
Hair – Black. They like black a lot.

Frat Douche: Chugus Nattycus

Clothing – depends what the TG was that night.
Catch phrase – “It’s not gay if it’s hazing.”

Indie Douche: Musicus Obscurus

Accessories – Man purse
Clothes – Purchased at a thrift store
Catch Phrase – “What?! You’ve never heard of the (insert totally obscure band name here)?”