Pop Culture CliffsNotes: February 6

ATTENTION, ALL READERS.  This is an important announcement.  Kelly Clarkson is NOT gay.   She wants you to know that.  I mean, no one was really talking about it, Kel, but now that you mention it, you do seem pretty gay.  Thanks for clearing that up! (Celebslam)

What else!

Pictures leaked on the internet this week of Miley Cyrus and her friends being racist.  While The Organization of Chinese Americans is pissed, her best friend Leslie says ‘oh she’s just being Miley’.  Plus, it’s totally fine.  There’s an Asian kid there and he said it’s cool. (WWTDD)

Pictures also leaked this week of Olympic hero and fish-man Michael Phelps smoking a bong.  I don’t know why everyone is so up in arms about this, it’s not like it’s going to influence ohmygodgetmeabongimmediatelyitmightmakemeswimlikeadolphin. (IDLYITW)

The gossip blogs were aflame this week over Jessica Simpson’s apparent weight gain, and everyone from Ashlee to Pete Wentz to Kim Kardashian is speaking up in her defense.  Which is great.  I know when I’m embarrassed about something, I love when my friends keep bringing it up. (WWTDD, Celebslam)

Ok, seriously Hollywood?  Spread the wealth.  I know you have some wonder drug that makes people skinny in a day.  I mean, first Janet Jackson, now Tom Cruise?  He was totally just fat.  Come on, tell us the secret.  Oh?  Oh, its cocaine.  Coooool. (IDLYITW)

So apparently Joaquin Phoenix is going to pursue a rap career.  You know what’s fun is looking at pictures of him and deciding what his rapper name should be.  Baby Bear.  McBeardo.  The Beast of Beats.  Uncle Rumpy.  This could go on for hours. (WWTDD)

Jude Law is dressed up as a chick for some movie and actually looks decent.  I can’t decide if that’s an insult or a compliment.  I guess both? (DListed)

Cleave of the week is back!  This week saw a very obvious winner with the one and only Christina Hendricks from Mad Men.  I’m sorry, this chick is the perfect woman.  Bladow! (Egotastic)

Hilary Duff and Faye Dunaway are in a catfight over the remake of Bonnie and Clyde, as Hilary has been cast in Faye’s original role.  Faye basically said Duff wasn’t a real actress, and Duff retaliated with a brutal burn about Faye’s fading looks.  They’re gonna meet under the bleachers after school to settle this once and for all.  No teachers. (DListed)

Britney’s creepy former manager Sam Lufti is suing her and her parents, claiming they ‘began a campaign of slander, libel and defamation aimed at discrediting, destroying and intimidating Lutfi in order to drive him out of Britney’s life.‘  Um, haven’t you seen Parental Control on MTV?  That is totally legal.  (Celebslam)

Well, this picture should make some nerds cream themselves.  I mean, look at how realistic that Chewie costume is!  The fur, so full and true to Wookiee form.  The people of Kashyyyk would be proud. (IDLYITW)

Ricky Gervais for the epic wolf. (Celebslam)

I never thought I’d say this, but cable provider Comcast is awesome.  This week during the Super Bowl, 30 seconds of the game were inexplicably replaced with hard core porn.  AKA the single greatest day for men to ever exist. (Hollywood Tuna)

Does it count as a nip slip if your bra is totally see through?  I vote yes.  What do you guys think? (Egotastic)

Etta James is pissed at Obama for asking Beyonce to sing her classic song ‘At Last’ at the Inauguration Ball instead of her.  In their defense, Etta James is still alive? (IDLYITW)

And finally, this week’s Still Got It, which I have to give to that angry little ball of psychotic goodness, Christian Bale.  In case you’ve been living in a cave, this week audio was released of Bale on the set of Terminator Salvation absolutely verbally destroying the director of photography, Shane Hurlbut.  From that audio, not only have we seen two dance remixes, but a mashup with Bill O’Reilly AND a soundboard.  What a week.  Thank you, Christian Bale.  You Still Got It. (WWTDD, DListed)