Michael Phelps is the reason I do not smoke pot anymore.

So the internet and news has been buzzing the past weeks with news of Michael Phelps’s drug useage. The picture of him taking a hit out of a bong made such controversy that Kellogs no longer sponsors Phelps, but I’m not going to rant about that.
What seems to have become a bigger problem is more and more kids find that Phelps usage of good ol’ mary j is a good reason for them to use the well known drug. Parents are worried that this gold medalist will encourage their children to smoke pot. That may be true for some kids out there, but I for sure am no longer going to smoke pot, and it’s all Mr. Phelps’s fault.
I used to enjoy smoking a little pot now and then, watching movies with friends by people who also smoke pot. My friends and I always joking around saying how easy it would be to write a script and get a movie made. Any pot head who watched Pinepple Express, Cheech and Chong, or Dave Chappelle’s entire career would be influenced by the courage these guys had to openly write jokes about smoking pot.
It always seemed doable, but now that a pot head won a fucking overall 14 gold medals in the Olympics I have lost faith in marijuana’s ablity to make me famous. Or at least give me the impression that while I’m smoking a bowl I am also coming up with some great scheme at becoming rich, wealthy, or laid.
Face it. Phelps set the bar too high for any pot smoker. Now I just get drepessed when I get high. Instead of thinking about writing the funniest book ever read, I’m thinking a fucking pot head swimmer won 14 gold medals. What the fuck. I can’t do that. Writing a book, script or coming up with an internet site all seems doable, but eight gold medals in one Olympic. Seriously, I now know I will never ammount to anything if I keep smoking pot.
Even if I do write a good book while smoking pot, it’s still not eight gold medals.

Fuck you Michael Phelps. Why couldn’t you be a speed addict. At least that would explain the gold medals.