Did someone say, “Help!”
Kill the cheerleader, save the series.
America’s Funniest Home Videos should be renamed America Thinks This Sh*t Is Funny But Hasn’t Seen It On A Giant Tape.
My ’88 Honda Civic
My car has been making all sorts of noises lately. From my steering column being squeaky to my vibrating muffler to whatever the hell that noise in my engine is, I can’t even drown it out with my stereo anymore. It really sucks because I’m not sure I have the money for louder speakers.The road to diabetes will be sweet.
Race
I finished a race that ended at the Norway-Finland border. So you might say I crossed the Finnish line.The hippie and the prosecutor
My mom was a hippie and my dad a prosecutor. Sometimes people say, Like Dharma & Greg! Yeah, except it sucked FOR REAL.Getting fined is like having to donate to a really shitty charity.
I spilled spot remover on my dog, it died.
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
A lady told me she was worried about her husband getting shipped to Iraq. I told her not to worry, you’re more likely to die in a plane crash than at war. What I didn’t know was that he is in the Air Force.
Group Hugs
Just extremely softcore orgies.I have a recurring dream where I am driving a bus, except the bus is shaped like my dad and is telling me I’m not good enough for it. I wonder what it means.
If Beyonce was actually a boy she would lose all her male fans.
I used to have what’s called Napoleon’s Syndrome because I was short and liked to argue. Now I have what’s called being a dick.
The 8 Relatives You'll Talk to at Thanksgiving
News Feed History of the World: January 2012
15 Phrases You'll Hear During Finals Week, and What They Really Mean
The Absolute Worst Case Scenario Handbook: Holiday Shopping Edition
8 Things the Internet Ruined
Every Time a Bell Rings
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
