The Morning After Heroes: Cold Wars

Previously on Heroes: After a mostly enjoyable (and occasionally brilliant) Villains arc, followed by a derivitave-but-exciting start to the subsequent volume, Fugitives, the writers of Heroes finally, FINALLY seemed to be righting the ship that was nearly sunk by a Maya-shaped iceberg back in Season 2.

This Week: Every single bit of progress was undone in 60 minutes of wall-to-wall shit.

I’m sorry, guys, but every time I sit down to recap this episode, I can’t get past the final image: Michaelangioplasty himself, Matt Parkman, futuredoodling yet another apocalyptic city-leveling explosion on the floor of Isaac’s studio apartment.



If you’ve ever doubted that I truly care about the success of this show, know that this episode has pissed me off so bad that I can’t even muster the cynicism to joke about it. The best I can do this week is give you a forum in which to discuss it (and please do – I’m eager to know what you guys thought), and hold out hope that this installment was just a horribly inept anomally in the midst of an otherwise promising season. I’ll be back next week. I just need some time to recover.

Bad Ass Moments: I guess… I guess Peter landing on Noah’s car to recapture him wasn’t so terrible? I dunno. I’m trying here.

Bad, Ass Moments: Literally everything else.

That’s What She Said:
- “How far are you willing to push?” “As far… as I need to.”
- “We need to get creative.” (Also: A thinly-veiled cry for help from the writers? Discuss.)

That’s What He Said:
- “Do I have your permission to go back in now?”

Just kidding. No guy would ever say that.

Next Week: They seriously better be joking about that fucking mushroom cloud.

On an infinitely more hopeful note, Watchmen comes out next Friday, and the early word from critics is that it’s both visually stunning and slavishly faithful. I can’t fucking wait.