To an epic and overly elaborate mission to take over the world… From the bathroom!

Huh? Where the hell did I get the idea to write about this?

1. Well, if you're in the bathroom… I guess you'd want toilet paper. You know… You're probably gonna be in there for a while… Poop… Ya gotta wipe… POOP! … Toilet humor…

2. I know this seems weird, but I'm sure you're going to get hungry why you're in there. As disgusting as it sounds, bring some food and water. In case you don't get it, I'm talking about the fact that you'll be eating and pooping in the same room. POOP!

3. Considering you're in the freaking bathroom, I suppose the only way to take over the world is through electronic devices. Namely, your laptop. Sit that baby on your lap while you sit on that can. You and I both know that surfing the web while takin a poo is a great activity.

4. Since you're bringing your laptop, bring your credit card, too. Buy some porn access! I mean, you're in the bathroom already. You can get rid of the projected substances and wash off real quick.

5. Air freshener. Don't get me wrong. I love the smell of shit as much as the next guy, but if you allow it to concentrate too much it gets pretty bad. Pop open a window and let the freshener do its thing.

6. Booze! Yeah, we finally got here. Booze. All the alcohol you can fit into your bathroom. Taking over the world is waaaaay more fun when you're smashed like no other.

I'm pretty sure this won't work, but you can still try!