18 to party, 21 to party legally.
I overheard a guy say that he was knee-deep in pussy. I was really impressed; I didn’t even realize you could go in foot first.
The road to Amish country is paved with good intentions.
People complain that the only two constants in this world are death and taxes, but it’s just not true. The kid I hit with my car never paid taxes.
Fur is murder, especially when it’s human fur.
Whenever I buy Wendy’s chili, I just pour it directly into the toilet. It’s like time-traveling 20 minutes into the future.
I want to catch a freight car and carry a bindle, no hobo.
The recession is so bad…
I had to stop shopping at the dollar store and switch to the Canadian dollar store.My high school chess club was actually pretty similar to fight club. We both had the same first rule and the members generally got beaten up a lot.
The Internet Justice League
Winter Pick-Up Lines
Pop-Up Notifications in Real Life
10 Roommate Red Flags
Facebook News Feed History of the World: World War I to World War II
Flowchart: Do You Like Me?
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
