Brandon Scott Wolf

THONdoms FTPK

By Brandon Scott Wolf

UNIVERSITY PARK — The Pennsylvania State University has recently Okayed the sale of THONdoms in support of the kids.

Organizations have dubbed these condoms as THONdoms for both their marathon-like lasting ability during intercourse and their overall charitable effects.

“Cum on, support the kids,” said university president Graham Spanier.

“That better not be a typo when it hits print,” joked Spanier.

THONdoms will be on sale leading up to and at THON. The university encouragesthe sale of the multicolored THONdoms and wants to put it out there that sex is cool. Each sorority, fraternity and club represented at THON will have their own THONdom design.

A university press release has announced that the word condom will not be used at THON due to the eventual scarring of children.

“We should let the kids find out what a condom is by walking in on their parents,” saidSpanier. “I thought my dad was making a balloon animal. That’s when mylove of magic was sparked.”

Buy THONdoms FTPK: for the prevention of kids.

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