Annoying "F My Life" Submissions

So for those of you who aren’t up to date with what’s new on the internets, there’s this new site called F my life.   It lets readers submit their own story about how fucked their day was.  It’s basically like a “Roommate Confessions” for the people on the receiving end.

It can be pretty funny extremely funny to read about someone’s hysterically shitty situation.  However, there’s a thin line between humorously bad and annoying bitching.  So before you submit your own FML, please learn from these common mistakes:

1.) Don’t complain about your ex

Yeah, break ups can be pretty bad and emotionally scarring.  We all know that. 
However, be mindful of your audience. If I wanted to hear a shitty story about exboyfriend and girlfriend drama then I would watch the Hills.  And unlike, watching that show on TV, I don’t get rewarded for putting up with over-dramatic bitching by seeing clips of hot girls.



Also, maybe if you stopped talking and thinking about your ex, you wouldn’t get caught up in that stupid drama.





2.) If you cheated, you deserved it


Wait, wait, wait.  So let me get this straight.  You knowingly did something you weren’t supposed to be doing, and are now bitching that you got caught?  No, see that’s not something you have a right to complain about.  Now Tim should be able to post a good F My Life story.  In fact, you are an even bigger bitch for trying to steal the F My Life story from him too.




3.) If your life is boring, so is your FML



Maybe if you didn’t spend your day buried in your laptop writing FML submissions people would notice you as a human being. 




4.) Don’t complain about deadlines getting pushed back



Are you really complaining that you got all your work done early instead of procrastinating?  That seems like a good thing.  Its not like you wouldn’t have had to do the work anyways.  Quit your bitching, you’re probably ecstatic that you can now spend the rest of the day doing nothing and reading F my life.




5.) Never, complain about a website.  Ever.



Really?  That’s the worst thing about your life right now?  I just read about 20 posts about people getting humiliated, betrayed and just downright fucked over
and you think the worst thing in your life is related to a website?  I want to stab you through the internet.   Atleast that would give you some good material to write about next time. 




5.) Don’t talk about secret crushes


Your little Romeo and Juliet story isn’t quite as you imagine it.  Try looking at things from her perspective.  You are not this poor unrequited lover, but really just a fucking creepy ass stalker.  Next time you think you like a girl, go up and start a conversation.  It works better than secretly collecting her toe nail clippings and asking her to marry you.




There ya go.  Follow those rules and the world will be a better place.  The power is yours!