Jeff Rubin

Cid's Corner

CollegeHumor isn’t just the #1 resource online for college debauchery; we also sponsor a nation-wide invention contest for kids between 6 and 10 years old. The submissions are in and we’ve selected six nominees, now it’s time for you guys to pick a winner. The inventor that receives the most votes will receive a one million dollar grant to help make his dream a reality. In addition, he (or she, I guess) will receive a driver’s license at the age of 13.

And the nominees are…

The UpSlide – A Slide That Goes Up
by Sarah L., age 7


TV Book – A book that’s TV
by Mark S., age 6



Pretend Beer for Daddy
by anonymous


Playstation 9
by Stephen I., age 9


Mommy-Shut-Up
by Tommy R., age 6



French Fry Scooter – A motor scooter that produces french fries instead of exhaust
by Ben, age 8


This poll is no longer active.

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Whiny inmate

I worked at a prison as a corrections officer (prison guard) and there was a particular inmate there who always complained about everything. For three months I endured his rants on how the lights were too bright, the rooms too hot, the blankets too scratchy, and so on. Obviously this is prison and no one gets luxury accommodations. I reached the end of my rope one morning... Read More » when I had to go down the run and wake him up at 7 AM for transport somewhere else in the state for a medical procedure. The guy is all grumpy, complaining about how I'm getting him up at the "ass crack of dawn." He demanded to be allowed time to take a shower, heat and drink some coffee and have a smoke. The van taking him away was already waiting for him and I knew for a fact that he'd taken a shower before going to bed the night before. I told him there wasn't time for any of that, he just had to get dressed and get to the van. He begins swearing and ranting about how inhumanely we were treating him and after months of his complaints I couldn't hold it in anymore. "I know, it sucks how early you have to get up to get your free medical care, huh?" I told him. He was immediately silent . He got dressed and left in a huff. I later found out how he wrote a grievance to the warden about my comment. Inmate complaints are occasionally reason for worry, so I was nervous when the warden called me in to his office. It turned out he just thought my comment was hilarious and told me to keep up the good work.