I Guess I'm On My Own

Let’s say you have a time machine. It works pretty well. It takes you anywhere in history and you can hang out there, talk to people, touch things, and alter the course of events. Let’s say you only get to use it once. And after contemplating riding on spaceships through a floating mall and making out with Marie Antoinette, you decide to be a real hero.¼/p>

So you grab a gun, and you set your time machine clock to the first half of last century. And after the whirligigs and gadgets on your machine spin and zip, you see a bright flash, and you are suddenly hurled back through the years. And when you open your eyes, there are people speaking German.

You take your weapon and ask the closest person where you can find Adolf Hitler. She points to a small, adorable little baby. He’s sucking his thumb and cooing. He looks up at you and smiles. You clutch the cold metal in your hand.

Could you do it?

Well, if your name is Sayid, you’d take the mother fucker DOWN.

Here’s what went down this week, in a burning van:

Sawyer tries to convince Sayid to play it cool, but Sayid doesn’t want to live among the Dharma peeps. So he is taken to the creepiest man ever, who gives him a truth serum. But the Dharma crew still thinks he’s a Hostile, and they vote to kill him. Young Ben, at odds with his douchebag father, helps Sayid escape. They run into Jin. Sayid knocks Jin out and then SHOOTS YOUNG BEN! HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS!

Here’s what we learn:

1. Sayid is a killing machine. But his weakness is really high boots. His lady captor used seduction to get him. She claimed she works for one of the men Sayid murdered, but she’s probably working straight for Widmore.
2. Sayid is not a vegetarian.
3. When Sayid doesn’t have anyone left to kill, he feels sad and helpless. Awwwww……
4. Sawyer does his best to help Sayid “ he tells him how to escape.
5. The reason Hurley doesn’t have a girlfriend isn’t his weight. It’s because he’s terrible with the ladies. Hugo, c’mon! Try to break it a little easier to Kate next time! Also, Kate is pretty jealo over the whole Juliet/Sawyer thing. This is gonna get gooooooood.
6. I was pretty sure we’d never meet a character creepier than Ben. I was WRONG.
7. Ben is just lies, lies, lies. Everytime we see a new flashback, we see that he told someone else another lie just to get them to do something. Why are we still homies with this dude? Sometimes I feel like our islanders are battered wives who just keep making excuses.¼/li>
8. Shut up, Radzinsky!
9. Even if a girl is on duty as a bounty hunter, she’s STILL gonna get some free booze out of it. Like, $120-a-glass booze. You go, girl.
10. Sayid knows why he’s here now. To murder children.