Gun Shot Victim: Oh god it hurts so bad!
Nurse: So can you describe your symptoms for me?
Gun Shot Victim: I was shot! I’m bleeding!
Nurse: Yes, this is something that seems to be going aroundlately. If everyone washed their hands here we wouldn’t have these problems.
Gun Shot Victim: Going around? There was a drive by!
Nurse: Well you don’t seem to have a fever so that’s a goodsign…if it’s not a fever it can’t be that serious.
Gun Shot Victim:I…I…can’t feel my leg
Nurse: I hope you aren’t doing this just to get out of class
Gun Shot Victim begins to slip into shock
Gun Shot Victim: Fuck…I’m too young…so much more to do…
Nurse:Well,it’s not step and your throat looks fine. I can give you some Sudafed and aGatorade. You really need to push those fluids! Orange or Fruit Punch?
Gun Shot Victim is lying unconscious on the floor
Receptionist: Nurse? There is a young woman waiting in thelobby complaining of neck pain.
Nurse: MENINGITIS! IT’S MENINGITIS! WE NEED TO SHUT THISPLACE DOWN!
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