The Yoohoo to actual reading’s chocolate milk.
The Newest “Lost” Mystery: What happened to Jack’s balls?
I believe the bible is literally god’s word and command, so I always skip celebrating Passover.
My friend asked me if I wanted to do a line of coke the other day. I said, “No, I don’t want to get too f*cked up tonight. Just give me a line segment.”
Jack Button
What if you mixed Robin Williams’ character from ‘Jack’ and Brad Pitt in ‘Benjamin Button’, not to attempt to cure anything, but just to see how awful the movie that came out of it would be…Pleasant Surprise
All this time, I thought the movie “Monsters vs. Aliens” was a sequel to “Alien vs. Predator”. Boy was I mistaken.If I had a nickel for every time I’ve had to apologize for running over your pets and burying them in your yard before you came home, I would have ten cents.
I’m not an alcoholic; I’m just freelance quality assurance for the beer industry
I think it is ironic A-Rod was getting nasty with that octogenarian Madonna and he is the one who ends up throwing out his hip.
I want to throw a communist party and have everyone get hammered. It would be sickle.
Did you know…
That female praying mantises will eat their partner after mating? Which is why I only go to third base with praying mantises.Since we already see the world in three dimensions, I started wearing 3-D glasses around so that I could see things in 6-D… The sixth dimension is blurry and discolored.
If you don’t pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
Ivan Drago, Professional Billiard Player
“I must break you.”Belgium Waffles: A small country’s over compensation.
Five NEXT-LEVEL Handshakes
What People Will Say They're Thankful for This Thanksgiving, And What They Actually Mean
Winter Pick-Up Lines
Drinking Games for the Mature Adult
News Feed History of the World: January 2012
Dating Dos and Don'ts
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
