Go Tarheels. Not the team, the horrific rare animals.
The only thing more satisfying than peeing in the pool is peeing into the pool.
Every toilet is a bidet if you're desperate.
She thinks she's my girlfriend, but it's really just a 146-night stand.
Cannibalism
I have enough meat on my body to feed me for the rest of my life.When I was a kid I used to dunk on a 7' hoop in my driveway and wait for an NBA scout to drive by and draft me. Unfortunately the chance of that happening was very slim; I lived in a culdesac.
Pick up line for girls with OCD
"That's a nice dress, but it would look a lot better folded neatly in a drawer"Good Friday
Why do they call it Good Friday? For Jesus, even "Friday After Next" was a better FridayYo momma so old, she remembers when yo momma jokes were funny.
I find it rude when deaf people talk to me with their hands full.
105%: Issue One Hundred and Sixty
Angry Amazon Reviews of Adorable Dog Costumes
7 Technology-Friendly Sex Positions
8 Gross Infomercial Products Someone Actually Spent Time Inventing
All The Funniest Vines In One Convenient Place
Almost Reading
The Troll
Humor Us
TLDNR
Regret Everything
The Graphic Truth
CollegeHumor Interview
Twidiots
