Brian Murphy

A N00b Meets His Girlfriend's Parents

Mr. Leet: Who do you think you are bringing his kind into my house?

Mrs. Leet: Gerald, he could hear you! He just went off to the bathroom…

Jessica:
Dad! He’s a nice guy, really.

Mr. Leet: He’s a n00b, Jessica. A n00b.

Jessica: So what? I love him!

Mr. Leet: This relationship will never work, it’s got epic fail written all over it.

Mrs. Leet: Honey, he called WoW “Wordcraft.”

Jessica: I don’t care what you say! Ryan and I are perfect for each other.

Mr. Leet: You’re a Leet, God damn it. We don’t date n00bz, we pwn them!

Mrs. Leet: He’s right, dear. Insolence FTL.

Jessica: This is so unfair, I wish I was never a Leet!

Mr . Leet: You bite your tongue, young lady. There are children playing third world MMO’s that would KILL for your phat lewtz.

Jessica:
Maybe I don’t care about phat lewtz! Maybe I LIKE n00bz! Maybe I want to MARRY a n00b someday!

Mr. Leet:
Over my Level 70 Rogue’s temporarily dead body.

Ryan: enters …Mr. Leet?

Family:
Gasp

Ryan:
I know you’re concerned. Maybe rightfully so. There are a lot of things I don’t understand. Hell, I can’t even manage to find the Control Panel half the time. But I know when I’ve found love, Mr. Leet. And I love your daughter. In the end, I think that’s worth more than all the fake gold in the world.

Pause

Mr. Leet:
GTFO.

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