What I Thought Would Happen After Making Major Purchases

My First Car

-Hey Nick I like your car!

-Thanks.

-You look so hot in it.  How would you like to take me and ride off into the sunset where we can live together forever and have sex everyday?

-That sounds nice.

My House

-Nick, where’s your new house?

-It’s on the northeast side.

-Oooh, the north-east side!  That’s soo hot!  Can I come over and have sex with you?  And afterwards I can walk naked into the kitchen and make you something to eat.

-I could go for that.

 

My Dog

-Ohh you got a puppy? That’s soo hot!  What kind is the little guy?

-A pug.

-Aww… can I come over and play with him after I have sex with you and make you something to eat?

-Yeah, he loves to play.

My Hot Tub

-Hey Nick, I heard you got a hot tub.

-Yeah, just got it installed.

-That’s sooo hot!  Can me and three of my sexually curious sorority sisters get in it with you tonight?

-Of course.

-Oh no, I forgot, none of us have our bikinis… I’m hoping your hot tub is “swimsuits optional” wink.

-I think we can bend the rules tonight.

-And afterwards we can make you a four-course dinner and have sex with you while you eat it.

-I’d like that.

My Life Insurance Policy

-Nick is it true you just got Variable Term Life Insurance?

-Why yes it is.

-Ohhhh my gawd that is soooo hot!  I can’t stand it!  Take me now!

(Two hours of intense sexual activity)

-That was nice.

-Do you want me to make you something to eat?

-Yes.

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