As the end of my first week in town was coming to an end, I started to become very anxious. Going out of my way to meet a girl has never been a talent of mine, clearly. It's not that I am incapable or unattractive, I'm just shy.
Anyway, so here I am at my wit's end, trying to figure out how I can, well, "get off". Being a single, 24 year old male, peaking sexually, isn't always the easiest burden to bare. So to be a shy single 24 year old male in a new setting no less, can at times be torturous. So, I decided to attempt renting a porno.
Mind you, I've never rented a porno before. I've borrowed them before. I've downloaded them before. Hell, I've even starred in my own porn. But, never have I ever, rented one. Seriously. How could I? It's icky. Besides, how embarrasing would it be? I figured if I just went ahead and did it, got it over with, then I wouldn't be so anxious. I could relax and just never show my face in the video store again.
I went with a plan. I would take a stroll down Main Street. Very cool. Very unassuming. Almost unnoticeable to the naked eye (no pun intended). I was hungry so I stopped into Aunt Sandies Sub Shop for a bite. I admit I was nervous and excited. I couldn't wait to get the whole ordeal over with so I could get home and "enjoy" my one room bungalow. I guess my nerves got the best of me; I took home two-thirds of my chicken finger sub.
After I picked up some bread and milk from the corner store, it was on to The Silver Screening Video Store, and the adult section. I couldn't wait. What kind of porn would I get? College Hunnies and Their Horny Professors? Asian Anal Invasion 6? Latin Licking and Lovemaking? In the past, my X-rated experiences were limited. I was always at the mercy of what my friends had to borrow or what ever was available to download. This time I would have my choice of it all. Until I didn't.
I thought it all out. I had a plan for the whole evening. And it all went to shit as soon as I pulled the shades down from my eyes and walked into Silver Screening. For a brief second my breath was stolen as my eyes glanced over at what was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She had soft, sun-soaked skin. Her dark brown eyes were deep, bottomless. Her smile almost pushed me back out the door. Impossibly, I looked away to notice no one else in the place. And that she was behind the desk. Shit.
Talk about being thrown for a loop. She was so beautiful. I almost blurted out 'adult section please' but realized quickly that the plan needed to be modified. For now. Abruptly, I turned to the nearest wall of videos. I mean, there was no way I could let this stunning girl enter my name into the computer directory and take my five dollars in exchange for a 24 hour rental of "Naughty Housewives and the Plumber 8: Dirty pipes again".
Now that gears had switched from X-rated to PG-rated, I realized I didn't even want to rent a video. I wanted some porn. For one night. To relieve some stress. And now this situation, so unseen by the way, doubled my anxiousness. Since when do young, gorgeous girls work in video stores anyway? I thought the job was reserved for, and enforced by law, over-weight, near-sighted movie geeks and trekies. Quickly, I picked out "Rocky", of all things, gave a cordial hello followed by my subtle smile, and went home. Sadly, pornless.
When I awoke the next morning I had two thoughts running through my head. Actually three. One: whether it is by accident or not, renting "Rocky" is never a mistake. Two: when I returned "Rocky", I would try for the porno again. And three: what a beautiful girl that video clerk was. I talked myself up that no matter who was working the desk, I would rent something with explicit sexual content. Dirty like a birdy.
But what if she was working the desk? Who cares, I told myself. She doesn't know you. I let my imagination run wild. Maybe she's a freak? Maybe she's some sex-addict that works the video store specifically for guys like me. Works for me, I thought. Even with all that motivation, and new found inspiration, I knew in the back of my head I'd feel a whole lot more comfortable renting "Milf-Hunter: Mother's Beware" from a trekkie than from her, from "Sunlight". I'm shy, I like girls, and Sunlight probably doesn't dig strangers that rent porn.
I nixed the sex freak thoughts and convinced myself that she wouldn't work two nights in a row. Finding out I was wrong didn't bother me. At least this time I only had to drop off a movie instead of renting one that I didn't want to see or that I didn't want anyone to see me rent. She was magnificent in her loose fitting overalls and wrinkle-less white T. She seemed fun. For all I knew, she could have been born in the dead of winter and I am willing to bet the sun was still shining as bright as ever. Two nights in a row. She must be real.
But now I had come to a frustrating reality. There was no way I could rent a porn with her working. She had seen me twice. Two nights in a row. I am real.
With the time for shameless porn renting behind me, I tried to make the most of it.
"I hope this isn't too late, I know its probably got a waiting list," I joked with a serious face.
She looked up at me as she smiled, making sure I was joking. "Actually I was going to call to make sure you returned it tonight," She quipped back, "I mean, look at this place".
We giggled at the empty room. Was she flirting? Sex freak? Nah. Just being nice.
"Am I all set? Got some laundry to do," I asked.
"Yeah you're all set. Have fun," she replied.
Two words come to mind when she smiles. Heat. Passion. It has to be the surest bet in Las Vegas that her smile could fill my soul with more heat and passion than the kindest of compliments from anyone else. Her smile is perfect.
I walked away with mixed feelings. I felt alive. I was happy to have met her, so to speak. And I looked forward to seeing her again. But there's the dilemma. How do I see her again? I don't know her name or anything about her except where she works. And, shamefully, I still wanted to rent a porn. I figured that it should be a priority, especially now, so I could relieve any nerves I still had that might get in the way of me conversing with her like a normal person. I figured I could give it a couple of days and then try and rent the porn again. Surely she wouldn't be working then.
I got so excited over the next couple of days. I was writing poetry about her on my lunch breaks. About Sunlight. But I was also getting ancy about whacking off. Rubbing one out. You know, unloading the gun. It became pertinent. It had to be done before the next time that I saw her.
After two days came and went, I found myself traveling down the block to Main Street. As I stood at the corner to cross the street and eyeing Silver Screening, I realized it was very possible that Sunlight might be working again. Shit, I thought. How will I rent this porn if she's working? Internally, I was getting upset. Why is she doing this to me? It's as if she intended to not only employ herself at the only video store within walking distance of my place, but also work everyday as to prevent me from ever jerking off! Breathe, breathe.
Hardly, I thought and I smiled as I pictured hers.
At least this time though, I knew to have a backup plan. If Sunlight is working, head straight to the new releases and rent something I am actually interested in watching. Upon entering the store though, I was awarded, so to speak, the opportunity to abandon such a plan. Peering at the desk from where Sunlight read her magazines, was, a trekkie, sporting a Spock t-shirt. Overweight, yes. Glasses, no. And yes, some unkempt nose hairs.
Sunlight wasn't working. Just as her beauty and presence stunned me just days earlier, her absence was just as stunning. And honestly, a bit sad for me. Even though I played with the possibility that she might not be working, hell, for my elevated levels of horniness I downright hoped she wouldn't be there, I still felt disappointed that I didn't get to see her shining smile.
I stood. I turned. Around. With my back to the trekkie, and the adult section, I walked out. Pornless and all. Later Spock.
So now we are caught up to speed. I'm like a shaken can of pop. I'm just waiting to be cracked and then I can explode. And not just in a sexual way. My loneliness has subsided. The new town feel is a distant memory. And I'm constantly thinking about her. Her real name. It could be as plain as Jane and not only would she wear it, she'd wear it well. How old is she? Is she in school? Does she like photography? Sports? Traveling? Praying? This girl! This feeling! What's with this town? The sun is always shining!
I'm left with too much time to think. Anymore time and I will have already dated this girl and broken up with her in my head. It is decided that I will go to the video store tonight. And introduce myself to my future wife. Ha! All this over a porn fix. I can't wait to tell her how we met.