Do not panic. The rashes are normal.
"Ithaca is Gorges." Ithaca is known for two things: bad puns, and high suicide rates. Coincidence?
Arranged Marriage
Do your parents like my parents? Check Yes or No.I love eating baby carrots because they satisfy my needs for vitamins and infanticide simultaneously.
I don't kiss and tell, but I f*cked a girl last night. I can tell you that because I made it clear… no kissing.
It was so beautiful out this weekend, I woke up extra early on Saturday to paint my windows black.
Every camera is disposable if you're apathetic enough.
My girlfriend claimed to have 4 orgasms last night.
I think she's lying but I wasn't there to confirm or deny her claim.Holidays
Does Samuel L. Jackson celebrate Motherfucker's Day?Petition to my Uncle
I want my fucking nose back.When I'm naked in a locker room, I like to speak in a British accent. I'm trying to make people think that British people have small penises.
Last night I got screwed by some guy who sold me 30 dollars worth of what turned out to be oregano… That's the last time I'll go to a complete stranger to buy cocaine.
Wouldn't it be ironic if someone drowned in Lifewater?
105%: Issue One Hundred and Sixty
Angry Amazon Reviews of Adorable Dog Costumes
8 Beer Innovations We'd Actually Use
Next Week on Mad Men...
8 Rap Songs Perfectly Synched with Kids' Shows
Almost Reading
The Troll
Humor Us
TLDNR
Regret Everything
The Graphic Truth
CollegeHumor Interview
Twidiots
