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105%-O-Matic

105% issue #2

by 105%-O-Matic on

105% – Making literacy worth it for two full weeks now.
Stanley Rhein, inventor of Mad Libs died today. He was seventy-poop years old.
-Amir B.
If life were more like hockey, a horn would sound at the end of a girl’s period.
-Chris Richman
Meta-TV Pitches
The Producer- A competitive reality show in which contestants compete in challenges for the right to create a competitive reality show.
The Awardys- An award show where the Awardy Awards are awarded.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip- An overrated show about people creating an overrated show.
-Jeff Rubin
Great Thing to Say When You’re Having Sex
“This Just In: My Dick”
-Streeter Seidell
The Making of “Code Name: The Cleaner”
Writer 1 – Yo man that script is due tomorrow.
Writer 2 – Shit, are you serious?
-Tom Sunnergren
Failed Attempts At Euphemisms
“We fucked… in the Biblical sense.”
-Dan Gurewitch
Guns don’t kill people. Knives kill people.
-Patrick Cassels
My father always told me “never give up” but I didn’t listen so he stopped.
-Alexander Branson
Send your 105% submissions to 105percent @ gmail dot com

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Passwords

I work in IT for a fairly well known company, but I work for one of the smaller branches. It's just me and one other person and let me just say, he isn't the brightest bulb. We are suppose to change the passwords to the computers every three months, and I was going to be gone on the day that we were suppose to do it. I wrote down the list of passwords that he needed to... Read More » change it to in an Excel doc and told him that he needed change them before he left on Friday, but after everyone is gone for the weekend. Monday I get back and everyone is asking me why they cannot get onto their computer. It turns out the guy didn't like the passwords I had created and made up his own, and then forgot what they were.