Staff Picks

Chris Richman

Beer Goggles: A Sonnet

by Chris Richman on


After a horrid mix of beer and wine
And too much time spent in a darkened bar
From the dense crowd emerged a woman fine
As cute as any, at least from afar.

“She’s a nine, at least; nay, she’s even more!”
My friends urged me on but behind my back
Said, “In a room of hags she’s still a four.”
I just stared, intrigued, at her ample rack.
                   
We found a corner we could call our own
A cry, “Last call!” could not our kissing cease
She rubbed her breasts and roared a manly groan.
Then lights flared on and I beheld a beast.
                       
If you’re going to drink, do so with care
Or else you’ll kiss fat girls with armpit hair.

Think you can write a better poem than this one? Post it and send the link to CHPoetryCorner@gmail.com.  Each week we’ll pick one poem to be featured in this spot. Put quill to scroll and get writing!

Check out past poems here.

See More
Like this Article
URL Close
Chris Louis

Chris Louis

View Profile
Recent Articles
More
uPick
Roommate Confessions Roommate pranks See All »
Up +16 Down
Orange Squares

Two years ago I get assigned a roommate from Bangladesh. Its his first time ever out of his country. His first words to me were Hello how tastes it. Interesting start right. Two days later i walk in to see cheese slices all over the walls. The cheese slices have writing on them. I confront him about it and he tells me he thought they were post it notes. Apparently they do... Read More » not have dairy in back home because he had never seen cheese before. Days after that he blows up the microwave by putting a pot of eggs in it. It is at this point that I give up on the guy. After a few weeks I notice his part of the dorm smells like ass so I confront him about it. He then goes on to explain that he has been waiting for the servants to come by for his laundry. Of all the people why did I get this guy? In the three months I lived with him he washed once and never quite understood that we did not have servants and that Americans utilize cows.