NBA creates new interactive "Basketball Hero"

 

After seeing a record loss in attendance at basketball games and viewers on TV, the National Basketball Association has decided to create a new interactive game to entice its younger audience. Following the example of wildly popular interactive games like Guitar Hero, Dance Dance Revolution and Rockband, the NBA is proud to introduce “Basketball Hero”. The game will feature revolutionary graphics and
game play design. Each “Basketball Hero” package comes with one regulation sized basketball, a sweatband, and instructions. The game can be played with over 64 players in multiplayer mode but five on five is highly recommended.

“This is the most realistic game I have ever played” said first time user Justin Machas “It was so retro the way you take the basketball and shoot it into a basketball goal.”

The game’s instructions feature only one step which is to find a basketball goal and start shooting. The rest of the game is up to the player, providing unprecedented possibilities. Players no longer have to deal with the confines of HDTV’s and lacking videogame graphic outputs. “Basketball Hero” provides a full 360 degree playing field and the most realistic setting ever put into a game.
Players win the game of “Basketball Hero” by scoring more of their basketballs into a basketball goal. Players can earn 2 points for shooting at normal distance and can earn special 3 points by shooting it outside of a “crazy” point line. If players get hit while shooting their basketballs they are allowed to shoot “freedom throws” in a moment of time where they can not be defended by the other players.

“It was so cool when I jumped into the air and put my “hand” in front of the other person’s Basketball,” said eager child Mark Seif. “I stopped his ball from entering the hoop and that seems to be a good thing, what a great feature.”

“Basketball Hero” provides the best in customization as each player can dress himself in any way they want. They can even buy replica jerseys of their favorite players with newly introduced “dollars” from a place called “Walmart.” The game also features a mode called “And 1” in which players can take their basketballs and dribble them in wild and unpredictable ways in order to “clown” on opposing players. This option is not available for white players but the NBA is working on that problem in the sequel. Players can also play in 21, Horse, Knockout, 3 point shootout, and “Fucking Around” mode. “Fucking Around” mode has no rules and usually consists of the players using their basketball controllers to try to make shots from half court and trying to bounce the ball into the goal.

For those players who want to find other players to challenge in “Basketball Hero” they only need to pull out their “cell phone blasters” and call the nearest person their age that has the “Basketball Hero” kit. This new style of online play allows people to reach millions of people at anytime and ensures that a game is just around the corner or a bus ride and cab fare away.

It was so realistic, the texture is unbelievable,” said 8 year old Kaylen Braden. “When Mr. Jamal from down the street slammed dunked on me I could feel his lifelike balls in my face.”

The game has broken records in game sales and more titles like it are in the works. Jif is working on “PB&J Revolution” for the fall, with life like fork and knife controllers. While Trojan is working on “Awkward First Time Hero” in which players are given 20 mins to put on one impossible condom before the hot girl leaves. The WNBA is also working on their own “Women’s Basketball Hero” but no one wants to play it. For now players will have to enjoy the new achievement that is “Basketball Hero” and marvel at what the future could hold for interactive gaming.

“I especially liked the emotion simulator that made me cry when Kareem told me to “get my weak shit out of here,” said 11 yr Old Casey Macon. “I will never advance to the Pro level playing like this.”