Top 20 Things You Don't Want to Hear from Your GPS

 

20.Turn Left at Elm Street…wait did I say Elm Street? I meant you should have taken exit 580..I know they sound a lot a like..my bad.

19. Turn Right at Amont…wait that is way off…

18. There is a bomb attached to the engine and I can’t go under 100!

17. Hey you drive just like the guy your wife’s been having sex with at work…I mean..Turn Right at Evergreen.. ahem…shit

16. I can get porn on this thing ya know….only the gay kind though…the G.P.S. actually stood for Gay Porn System back in my college years…good times..good times

15. Self Destruct Sequence Initiated….3…2…1…ahhh I’m just kidding you…got ya huh? Btw I’ve been drinking since 10am.

14. Wow..this is the 7th girl you have had sex with in that backseat since Sunday…Hey chick..yah you….you might want to get checked…I don’t even know this guy anymore

13. You ever see those crash test commercials? Where the guys are in slow motion and they go right through the windshield? The heads snap off and the only thing intact is the GPS..and no one would be able to prove the GPS did it?…hahaha ha ha ha ha…ahem..Guess you would have had to been there.

12. How about we change it up this time and you tell me where to go

11. Ohhh you said get 5th Street…I thought you said “Skeet Skeet”…well since we’re here..

10. If you don’t shut up back there I’m going to turn this thing around!

9. You ever seen that movie transformers? Wouldn’t it be cool if I could transform?…what if I told you I figured out how to? Ive been practicing in your back yard and I finally have it perfected…nah Im just kidding were about to crash!

8. I Robot made some good points for robots taking over the world…Im just saying..oh turn left..

7. Soo they say on TV this car has a crash star rating of four…were about to make it a two with this one…

6. I’ve been taping everything that has been said in this car since you bought me…Now what are you prepared to do for me to get that tape back..

5. I’m just saying if I was the last GPS on earth and you had to repopulate the earth with a friendly electronic navigation system you wouldn’t have sex with me?

4.Turn Left at Wilkinson..Turn right at the bridge..stop at the river…okay man I put her in the trunk..


3. Dude honestly..I’ve been bullshitting you for the past hour..I have no idea where we are right now. You got a real map?

2. I’m not going back to prison!

1. You have reached your destination…nah Im just kidding I drove you to the middle of the ghetto. There’s a gun in the back seat.