Cool as Ice (1991)

Directed by David Kellogg and Written by David Stern

A gem from a forgotten period of time when Vanilla Ice was actually on top of the world. That's right, this is the first and sadly only film starring the mega superstar that was/is? Vanilla Ice. This masterpiece was a remake of a film that really just didn't live up to the hype, the James Dean film, Rebel Without a Cause…I mean seriously, who's ever seen that… The most obvious solution to making sure it could achieve greatness, would of course be to remake the film with a more iconic American entertainer, Vanilla Ice…If you're stoned, there truly is no greater selling point for a film, especially when the tagline is, "When a girl has a heart of stone, there's only one way to melt it. Just add Ice." I mean shit, how could you not watch this film just for the sheer novelty of seeing Vanilla Ice flounce around in neon pants and a jacket with the phrase, "Lust, ah yeah!" embroidered on it, among other totally rad idioms. No, but seriously… you need to see this film, it's like Vanilla Ice, Rebel Without a Cause, and Alice in Wonderland had a retarded love child and its name was Cool as Ice. The whole film is really just a schmorgesborg of shit. Typically, when making a movie, you must define the world so the viewer can understand the rules behind what they're seeing. Cool as Ice didn't seem to give a fuck as they combined a Hollywood film with an abundant and eclectic range of music video visual techniques, to the point where the viewer's jaw hits the floor out of sheer confusion. Oh and in case you're wondering, yes we do get to see Vanilla with his trademark 'do in its natural form…truly a frightening and eye opening experience. With a visceral acting performance the likes of which can only be compared to Keanu Reeves in Point Break, this is a can't miss for the nostalgic loving culture that we currently live in. An interesting side note to this film, Cool as Ice became the launching pad for the film's cinematographer, Janusz Kaminski, whose next theatrical release would be Schindler's List and subsequently every Steven Spielberg film after that. That's right Steven Spielberg has seen Cool as Ice, and odds are, he wasn't sober…