Staff Picks

How to be a Gentleman at the Club

by CaptainKidsKlub on June 11, 2009

So you stroll to the entrance of the club with your dashing man-blouse at your chest. The bouncer gives you a funny look when you try to enter the club armed with a rapier at your side. However, you give him a courteous bow and slightly lower your hat to him. He nods in acknowledgement and lets you in.

Immediately, a fair maiden with exquisite child-bearing hips catches your attention. Your eyes meet for the first time and suddenly your heart is encompassed with fireflies. You gently approach her with a slight blaze in your eyes as she appears to be glowing a fluorescent white. In the background, “Back that Ass Up” by Juvenile is playing – it is your favorite song to dance to.

You kindly ask:

“May I have this dance?”

She bows and responds:“I’d thought you’d never ask…”
You remove your white silk glove and charmingly take her hand. In seconds the two of you are gliding like a pair of newly-wed swans. The pond of your dance floor ripples at the beat of your footsteps.�br>
After a night of dancing and magic, you whisper in her ear: “Let us go to the Opera…”

Ecstatic, she says,
“Take me with you!”

Upon arriving to the opera, you come to find that they are not having any shows tonight. However, the broadway shows are open and you have tickets to see “Les Miserables”

After witnessing a beautiful story about love and war, you take her to your place. She sees your bidet in your bathroom and screams in delight:
“Take me now!”