Mustachioed Game Guy: But the winner isn't here yet!
Organizer: That's impossible. How's he going to claim his free iPod Nano?
Mustachioed Game Guy: He isn't. The guy's nuts. The other day I tried to give him a thousand bucks for winning the "Throw the Banana at the Monkey" game, and all he did was exit out of it.
Organizer: But but we put so much money into this! Guess Man's even got his "Celebrity Abs Guessing Game" booth set-up.
Guess Man: If he's not coming, I might as well just tell you guys. It was Eminem, not Abraham Lincoln.
The Protector: I doubt he even got the invite. I gave his computer a complimentary virus scan the other day while he was on some seedy website. Full of malware.
Credit Report: And let's not forget his dangerously low credit score!
Penis Enlarger: AND his dangerously small penis
Dorky Girl From His High School: sigh I was going to tell him all about how I married the varsity quarterback.
Credit Report: He would have never believed the number of kids you have
Hottest Girl Ever: bursts into tears Now I'm gonna have to message some other guy from my county who surfs RedTube. I'm so horny!
Organizer: Guys! GUYS! Calm down. He confirmed the invitation, he'll be here. Hell, he even told us where to hold the event!
Mustachioed Game Guy: Wait, he told you where to set-up? That's a little strange. Eyes widen Unless .
The Protector: IT'S A TRAP!
Ad-Blocker kicks open the door and opens fire with an assault rifle. One by one he picks off the pop-ups. The only one left is a wounded Penis Enlarger.
Penis Enlarger: You can kill me, but you can't stop natural male enhancement!
Ad-Blocker: Is it really natural if you need a pill?
Penis Enlarger's head explodes.
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Organizer: Settle down people, we're about to begin the ceremony for the 10,000th Visitor Awards.