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D-10 Reasons Gordon Bombay was a Tool

by Kevin on


You might remember him as the coach of the greatest peewee hockey team ever: The Mighty Ducks. However, after much research into the “Mighty Duck Man” himself, I’ve decided he is nothing more than a mighty douche bag. Here are 10 reasons why:


1. His life revolves around pee wee hockey.

2. After getting fired from a prestigious law firm (because of his obsession with pee wee hockey), the unprofessional bastard “quacks” at his boss.

3. He is flat out racist – He referred to the two black brothers and the whitest kid on the team as the “Oreo line”.

4. He carries around a duck whistle and actually uses it.

5. After winning a couple Junior Goodwill games, he starts attending posh L.A. parties with Kareem Abdul jabar and Wayne Gretzky and thinks his insignificant feats give him the right to be an egotistical prick.

6. He is Hendrix hockey and Don Tibble’s little bitch.

7. He passes up a chance to get with that hot Iceland chick just because the “bash brothers” catch him eating ice cream with her and that angry black kid doesn’t approve. (Fuck you Jesse Hall).

8. He actually thinks the “Air-Bombay coaching loafer” is going to be sold in stores.

9. He pusses out in front of his team after the Iceland coach pops his beach ball and cheap shots his bum leg.

10. He pretends to mentor Charlie, but he really is just trying to bang his mom.

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